ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
