I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
