All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
