Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
