I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
