talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
