I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
