I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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