just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
