EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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