I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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