what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
