Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He felt like a one man threesome
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
