i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
