Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
