he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
