The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
