"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
