Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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