and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
