he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
