It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
