I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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