oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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