mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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