I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
