who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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