I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
