I think I can smell my own vagina right now
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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