Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
