We're like a lot better than the average bears
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
