Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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