I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my being single is dangerous.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
