yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
