dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
