I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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