Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
