what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
