Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Even my vagina gasped.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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