Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
