I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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