How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
