im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
