i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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