Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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