Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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