but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
