I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
