we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
