this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
