we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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